| To Know Us Is To Be Fairly Indifferent Toward Us |
William Shakespeare, As You Like It, Act V, Scene 4.
Who are Price and Tom? Can we really ever know two individuals of mystery such as they? In truth, yes we can, but trust us on this one -- all in all, they're kinda boring.
Price and Tom are basically just two more or less regular guys living in the bustling metropolis of Findlay, Ohio -- "Flag City, USA."
Price, 27, is chained to a bitter, dreary existence within a cold, loveless marriage, and he will tell you all about it if you give him half the chance. He has a job of some kind and wishes that he was dead. Among his favorite things: the paintings of the late 19th-century French impressionists, the symphonic works of Antonin Dvorak, fine Italian wines, reruns of Mannix, and corn chips.
Tom, 28, lives with his parents in an unfinished basement bedroom and works at the drive-thru at the KFC in Findlay. Like Price, he despises life and routinely pleads pathetically for any and all existent gods to end his miserable life. He also enjoys walking on the beach and eating tacos.
Together, they form a magnificent team of advice-giver-outers, answering questions like there's no tomorrow and wishing they had never been born into their pitiful lives of sorrow and loneliness. Enjoy them, love them, appreciate them for what they are -- just don't call them losers. That right is reserved for Tom's parents and Price's wife.