Crap From Our Second Year

• November 30 We're mad as heck and we're not taking it anymore! In other words, we quit.
• November 23 Rely on Price and Tom for expert theological opinions.
• November 16 We may not be scientists, but we sure are stupid! Wait, that kinda came out wrong ...
• November 9 Don't hate us because we tell you how to be beautiful. Hate us because we're evil.
• November 2 Feel the icy, penetrating stab of our all-powerful cuteness.
• October 26 A mind-bending Tommy monologue.
• October 19 Learn how to mold the fragile psyches of children as you witness the beginning of the Chuck Heston Renaissance.
• October 12 Price and Tom rejoice over a death threat and flippantly answer a question of no real importance whatsoever.
• October 5 The next wave in Price and Tom mania: Merchandising!
• October 1 The eternal stuggles continue: United States v. Clinton, Price and Tom v. Uncle Harry.
• September 21 Butt.
• September 17 We actually give answers (or reasonable facsimiles thereof) to the questions from September 14.
• September 14 Two people ask us for serious advice and are sorely disappointed. Basically, business as usual.
• September 10 Tom: Fast Food Superstar! Price: Guy who fears monkeys!
• September 3 Price and Tom say: "We get you there!"
• August 31 Tom analyzes the fundamental paradox of existence. Plus: Is someone after Price and Tom?
• August 27 Price and Tom put their feet down, then search for the meaning of life. Not to spoil the ending or anything, but they don't find it.
• August 24 Smell the sweet, sweet aroma of Price and Tom as thoughts of a pointless, empty relationship cause Tom to break into song.
• August 13 Price sez: "I'm leavin' on a jet plane." He doesn't.
• August 10 Advice for a person with an unpronouncable name. Plus, a little something for the ladies: Price and Tom go for the full monty.
• August 6 Learn why Price and Tom didn't do too well in math and why Price can't seem to keep a personal servant for more than a couple of days.
• July 27 Find out why Mulder and Scully should visit Kentucky, and watch as we get some psycho incredibly lost.
• July 23 Price reflects on his stature, the immensity of his head, and one hellish night in Findlay, Ohio -- circa spring 1989.
• July 20 Price and Tom bring peace to two warring factions and bring the all-powerful gum lobby to its knees.
• July 16 We conquer bigotry and make excuses.
• July 13 We instruct a confused young innocent on the fine art of alienating others, then lead ourselves not into temptation (sort of).
• July 9 Findlay: The Holy City? Price and Tom: Lazy Losers? Yes and yes.
• July 6 Tom and Monica: The Perfect Couple? Plus, an unrelated question.
• July 2 Jealousy rears its ugly head, and Price and Tom display their ignorance by asking pointless questions.
• June 29 Price and Tom: Unmasked! Plus, we sing the praises of rancid condiments.
• June 25 A Minnesotan gets blacklisted, and an Ohioan (Tom) gets his hopes up.
• June 22 Paging Price! Tom's lost in yet another of his remarkably well realized fantasy worlds!
• June 18 How to live alone in a cold, indifferent world. Plus, Mel and Bill's big adventure!
• June 15 A student poops on authority. Tom is an authority on poops.
• June 11 A wacko from Oregon reveals a couple of disturbing obsessions.
• June 8 Tom's theory on the factors governing the whole of human social interaction are upstaged by a healthy dollop of sweet hate.
• May 18 More of the same.
• May 14 We debate the existence of Tom (yet again), and Price hallucinates (yet again).
• May 11 Losers in Charlotte. You shouldn't not fail to miss it!
• May 4 Tom suffers from severe mood swings while we discuss the latest fad religion.
• April 30 The return of Price and Tom.
• April 27 Eric and Bill continue their reign of terror.
• April 23 Eric and Bill have arrived.
• April 20 Tom loses his fragile hold on reality, and Price is forced to resort to violence.
• April 16 Godly advice, and a word from our bosses.
• April 13 Questions, questions, questions. Plus, handy tips for agoraphobics.
• April 9 We look at the advantages and disadvantages of a pointless fact, and we "spam" the hated Uncle Harry!
• April 6 Candy Corn returns, bringing Anthrax with her! Oh yeah, and some guy named Peppitto.
• April 2 The almighty winner of the first annual Be Price and Tom for a Few Days contest!
• March 30 Important policy decisions and life shopping tips.
• March 16 Find out what it's all about -- two imaginary advice guys.
• March 12 Texas Instruments, A Flock of Seagulls, macaroni, and green marshmallows. Yum!
• March 9 A disturbing glimpse into an alternate reality.
• March 5 Keepin' down the urges, and the newest comedy catchphrase.
• March 2 The insidious power of the "greenhouse effect," and an answer to a question.
• February 26 How to hate. How to answer an incoherent question.
• February 23 We make (another) love connection. Plus, Tom has a rough week.
• February 19 Wacky trunks.
• February 16 Ally McBeal and "big-as-your-head" bean burritos from Guillermo's Taco Hut.
• February 12 Stretch your money with help from Tom, and then watch as he is brutalized beyond belief.
• February 9 "It's alive! It's alive!" says Tom, before realizing just how disturbed he really is.
• February 5 Price and Tom take you on a tour of their favorite haunts in Findlay, Ohio. Then Tom, Brian, Gerald, Esteban, and Okhjim talk about Price.
• February 2 Not surprisingly, we get really confused about something, then we pass the confusion on to you.
• January 29 Wet cats and a rash.
• January 26 Gravy and Summer's Eve. Don't understand the connection? Neither do we.
• January 22 A historic column, in which Tom's evil nature is uncovered.
• January 19 We "dis" the blind and rain vengeful wrath (unsuccessfully) upon our arch-rival.
• January 8 Wait a minute, Mr. Postman! I want to be like Price and Tom!